Fearless Love

I think at times there is a natural tendency to be afraid to love. I know I personally at times fear vulnerability. Perhaps it is just my natural shyness and my reticence to accept the truth that genuine love is not afraid to love someone flaws and all. Even to love the flaws. At base it's selfishness is it not? I am more concerned with myself than with those God brings into my life to show His love. Perhaps it's my experiences. To love others no matter how fully and honestly is not a guarantee of love being reciprocated. Again, it's me I'm protecting. Is there anything more selfish than fear?
There are two verses about love that resonate in my heart whenever the Spirit reminds me of them--verses that emphasize the wonder of God's love for me regardless of the circumstances or my flaws or my fears. The first is, "Now Jesus loved Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus." And the second is when John identifies himself as the "disciple whom Jesus loved." Now Jesus loved the other disciples just as much as He loved John, but the difference, I believe, was John's full awareness of that love; and consequently, his deep love for his Savior. In a sense--and I hope this doesn't sound heretical--it was a "twice as deep love." Reciprocated love. Because John knew how deeply he was loved, he loved "back" just as deeply. His love for his Savior drew him into the court room, drew him to the foot of the cross, drew him to the empty tomb. And Jesus trusted John to be the loving caretaker for Mary, His mother. And I see Mary, Martha's sister, deep in a similar love relationship with Jesus. She and John were totally dedicated to loving and adoring Him no matter what others thought of them--or Him. He was the love of their lives. They would have none other besides Him. Their love for Him cast out all fear that He would stop loving them.
And then there was Martha--and me. Busy trying to earn His love and impress Him with my service. Doubting His love because of my circumstances and His refusal to answer my prayers the way I wanted them answered. A life-time slow learner struggling with my understanding of His love for me: The chubby, old man that Jesus loves--flaws and doubts and all. I need to learn to embrace fearlessly His great love. "Wide, wide as the ocean, high as the heavens above, deep, deep as the deepest sea is God's love for me. Oh, though so unworthy, still I'm a child of His love, for His Word teaches me that His love reaches me everywhere." I need to sit with the children more and belt out a few more of those choruses. To become a little child again sure of my Father's love.
I struggle with loving others as I should--flaws and all. I struggle with accepting the love of others because of my flaws and all. I struggle with embracing His inescapable, inexhaustible love for me. He loved me while I was still a sinner, dead in my trespasses and sins! We must love because He first loved us and gave Himself up for us. We must embrace that unfathomable love so that His love can flow through us to touch the lives of others sacrificially. How they respond doesn't matter. "Let us fearlessly love one another because love is of God." Mature love casts out fear.