Life

We are commanded to examine ourselves. If we do that honestly, the Spirit will show us those things that need to be changed in our lives to live the life of faith. We have a tendency to call those things "struggles," and to doubt our relationship with Him. No so. Those struggles are proof that we are growing. And growth, of course, is the proof of life. The reason He is still showing us ways to deepen our relationship with Him is because His desire is to draw us closer to Him--to enable us to more fully sense His presence. He hasn't yet shrugged His shoulders and said, "I give up. Nothing more I can do with that stubborn old man." The struggles are proof that we are His, that He loves us dearly, and that He wants us to more fully sense His loving hand in our lives. If our walk with Him is not a "struggle," than there is no growth taking place. And if there has never been any struggle to grow in Him, then there is no life.

Reverence

Nothing is more important to victorious Christian living than a fear, a deep reverence for God. Attaining the wisdom needed to understand His work in my life demands a deep understanding of who He is. And the more I understand His majesty, the more I recognize my need to trust Him in all things. True wisdom after all is the recognition of how little wisdom I have, and how reliant I am on His giving me the wisdom I need. "If anyone lack wisdom, let Him ask of God." Asking God out of a reverence for who He is enables me to accept--to humbly submit to the symphony He is creating through my life--a song of praise to Him--beautiful, harmonic, resplendent--and yes, dissonant at times, but always a symphony reflecting His majesty.
Job having been given a revelation of God's majesty cries out, "I know that Thou canst do all things . . . things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. . . I will ask Thee, and do instruct me. I have heard of Thee by the hearing of the ear; but now my eyes see Thee. . . and I repent in dust and ashes."
David in repentance and reverence cries out, "against Thee, and Thee only have I sinned and done this evil in Thy sight. . . Behold, Thou dost desire truth in the innermost being, and in the hidden part Thou will make me to know wisdom. . . create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."
When God's Spirit reveals the Father's majesty before my eyes, a deep, reverence for Him and the humility to submit to His orchestration of my life deepens my trust in who He is and my confidence in His wisdom.
Job's repentance created in him a compassion for his "friends," and he humbly and willingly interceded on their behalf before God. David's repentance created in him the wisdom to know that despite his sin, the majestic God of mercy would embrace the brokenness of a contrite spirit and humble heart. "There is a wideness in God's mercy like the wideness of the sea."
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." My reverence for His perfections create in me the humility to trust Him fully, the heart to intercede for those in need--even my biggest critics, and the broken-heartedness to rest in His mercy-filled delight in my repentance and submission to His will.
To "be courageous and to fear not" I must develop an unshakable confidence in His unchanging character--a fear, a reverence for my majestic God, the conductor of the beautiful melodies that make my life a song of praise to Him in the midst of the His people and the world around me..

Immersed

There is no magic formula to being filled with the Spirit--to having the Spirit so control you that your Christian walk becomes more and more spontaneous. Saturate your life with the Word--immerse yourself in God's letter to His people. Enrichment leads to an enriching life. The Word is His Sword, our light, the sanctifying power in our life, the foundation by which we try the spirits to see if what we are being told is indeed God's truth.
It's no wonder that the enemy tries to convince us that meditating on it is a waste of time--even a drudgery. Or to convince we old saints that we know it all--that there is nothing more for us to learn. Or to cast doubts upon its authority over our choices and behavior. Or to downplay and undermine that love for God is inseparable from obedience to its commands and principles. You can trace a culture's decline by its attitude toward God's Word and its authority. And woe to the Christian who in order to appease an unbelieving culture denies its teachings. How often in the guise of being loving do we disguise our fear of being called fools and deny His clear teaching?
And the daily loss is stifling. The song in my heart is drowned out by a cacophony of self-pity at my circumstances and daily struggles. My reverence for God--the fear of the Lord which is the source of all wisdom-becomes smothered by doubts and uncertainty. My submission to His will and my fellow believers becomes self-centered vain-glory. My life becomes all about me. Is there anyone uglier than a narcissistic Christian?
May God keep me rooted in His Word, keep its truths at the center of my thought-life, keep the Spirit empowered to control my every thought and action. Only by being saturated with His Word's wisdom, by being immersed in its faithful, unchanging truth can I be filled with the Spirit and reflect the loving beauty of Jesus to all around me.

"Thy Word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against Thee."

The Gift of Sorrow

Every person experiences times of sorrow. Loss and disappointment, physical and emotional pain, misunderstandings, the consequences of unwise choices--the list goes on. Yes, some of it is self-inflicted; some of it is a part of our lives because of the choices of others; some of it is because of circumstances over which we had no control.
Yet, it is sorrow that God uses to mold us into His likeness, to take away our stubborn "need" for independence and control, to cleanse us of our sins, to--at times--open our hearts to a deeper understanding of His heart. Hosea's circumstances, for example, gave him a deeper understanding of God's broken heart and deep sorrow because of the spiritual adultery and unfaithfulness of His people. God is ever faithful to teach His children more about who He is through difficult times--to bring and to allow sorrows into our lives that He might fill us with His joy as we abide in Him, rest in His active presence in our lives knowing that He will use each totally dependent branch to bear much fruit. Joy does not take the sorrow away; but instead, refines us as fire refines gold, matures us as toil strengthens the bearer of burdens. Tears are the still waters that cause us to grow. And growth is the evidence that we are alive in Him--a tree planted by the streams of restoration and fullness--of genuine life eternal. The Christian walk is lived within the "boundaries" of sorrow and joy. Both are God's gift to us. Both deepen our reliance on Him. Both draw us near to the heart of God. Both equip us with the strength needed to do all the things that please Him. To embrace both as evidence of our sonship, as evidence of His love for us, as evidence of His promise to transform us into His gold to be spent to glorify His Name and to make known to all the richness of His Kingdom in a troubled world is to be filled with the peace that is beyond human comprehension. To think right--think as He thinks; to love right--to love as He loves, He enriches our lives with sorrow that we might know His joy.

"Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven."

Fearless Love

I think at times there is a natural tendency to be afraid to love. I know I personally at times fear vulnerability. Perhaps it is just my natural shyness and my reticence to accept the truth that genuine love is not afraid to love someone flaws and all. Even to love the flaws. At base it's selfishness is it not? I am more concerned with myself than with those God brings into my life to show His love. Perhaps it's my experiences. To love others no matter how fully and honestly is not a guarantee of love being reciprocated. Again, it's me I'm protecting. Is there anything more selfish than fear?
There are two verses about love that resonate in my heart whenever the Spirit reminds me of them--verses that emphasize the wonder of God's love for me regardless of the circumstances or my flaws or my fears. The first is, "Now Jesus loved Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus." And the second is when John identifies himself as the "disciple whom Jesus loved." Now Jesus loved the other disciples just as much as He loved John, but the difference, I believe, was John's full awareness of that love; and consequently, his deep love for his Savior. In a sense--and I hope this doesn't sound heretical--it was a "twice as deep love." Reciprocated love. Because John knew how deeply he was loved, he loved "back" just as deeply. His love for his Savior drew him into the court room, drew him to the foot of the cross, drew him to the empty tomb. And Jesus trusted John to be the loving caretaker for Mary, His mother. And I see Mary, Martha's sister, deep in a similar love relationship with Jesus. She and John were totally dedicated to loving and adoring Him no matter what others thought of them--or Him. He was the love of their lives. They would have none other besides Him. Their love for Him cast out all fear that He would stop loving them.
And then there was Martha--and me. Busy trying to earn His love and impress Him with my service. Doubting His love because of my circumstances and His refusal to answer my prayers the way I wanted them answered. A life-time slow learner struggling with my understanding of His love for me: The chubby, old man that Jesus loves--flaws and doubts and all. I need to learn to embrace fearlessly His great love. "Wide, wide as the ocean, high as the heavens above, deep, deep as the deepest sea is God's love for me. Oh, though so unworthy, still I'm a child of His love, for His Word teaches me that His love reaches me everywhere." I need to sit with the children more and belt out a few more of those choruses. To become a little child again sure of my Father's love.
I struggle with loving others as I should--flaws and all. I struggle with accepting the love of others because of my flaws and all. I struggle with embracing His inescapable, inexhaustible love for me. He loved me while I was still a sinner, dead in my trespasses and sins! We must love because He first loved us and gave Himself up for us. We must embrace that unfathomable love so that His love can flow through us to touch the lives of others sacrificially. How they respond doesn't matter. "Let us fearlessly love one another because love is of God." Mature love casts out fear.

Another Year of Grace

Well, tomorrow at 8:31 AM, Lord willing, I will enter year four of grace. Such excursions never enter one's mind growing up, and "presto," here I am--74. I always like to reflect on these days of remembrance to mediate on what He has taught this old dog (don't believe the proverb) that's "new," and what truths He has reminded me of in this last year of grace. Never too old to be taught to love Him more deeply; never too old to be re-taught things I've forgotten or let slip into the recesses of my mind. I could, I suppose, write all night on the things He has taught me this year. I will settle for giving you these ten.

1. Age is no excuse for not serving Him faithfully one day at a time. In fact, the days of service become sweeter and sweeter as I stand amazed at His desire to use me still.
2. A deep sense of my inability to even begin to do what He has called me to do is the bedrock of His being able to use me for His glory. He means it when He says, "without Me, you can do nothing," He is my strength, my energy, my insight, my patience--full dependency is the only way to effective service.
3..The restoration of my soul is a daily blessing. He leads me daily. He makes me rest by still waters daily. He guides me to the green pastures daily. He restores me daily. And I have found this last grace year that the restorers He uses to touch my soul are my fellow workers in the kingdom. Their love and encouragement to me daily restores my weary soul and empowers me to take the next step in my journey Home--the step called "today."
4. He has encouraged me to change the focus of my prayers for those I love that are not following Him. I used to pray, "Lord, do whatever it takes to bring them back to You." He has taught me to pray, 'Lord, may Your love never let them go."
5. He has deepened my resolve to imitate my Savior (and Paul): "For me, to live is Christ. And to die is gain." May my fervent desire to see His face be the source of my steadfast desire to touch one life for Him each day--touch them with His love and care. And to remind them that He takes their mistakes and shortcomings to do them everlasting good. In fact, He delights in doing so.
6. In solitude--as I walk The Acres with Him--He speaks to me. I love the conversations--quiet and honest. Yes, skeptics, He talks to me as clearly as any visible person ever has. He speaks to me as my Father, my Savior, my Bridegroom, my friend, my brother. "'This so sweet to talk to Jesus."
7. My sorrows are the fountain of my joys.
8. To follow Him--I must know the world as He knows it, love the world as He loved it, fill my world as He did with grace and truth.
9. As someone has so eloquently affirmed: for the spiritual life, to breathe without ceasing is "to pray without ceasing."
10. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for He is my breath.

"Grace, 'tis a charming sound."

Resignation

Sometimes our--my--faith becomes merely resignation. I look at my circumstances, sigh, and say, "That's just the way it is--the way it will continue to be--so I'll just muddle along doing my 'churchy' Christian things. Oh well." The problem is, of course, that resignation is just a step away from hopelessness.
In some cases the circumstances are not "my fault." Someone else's actions put me in this place. Or sometimes (always, actually) my circumstances were ordained by God. I wasn't asked or consulted as to whether this is really a situation I wanted to deal with in my life, now--or, maybe, deal with for the rest of my life.
The problem, I think, is that I believe that my circumstances are all about me. They are never all about me. The circumstances I have gone through--or are going through--are always about the people He has surrounded me with. Resignation blinds me to the opportunity of loving those He has sent to me to experience His love. How many people do I encounter each day because of my circumstances that leave my presence not knowing that they are loved--that they have value and worth in the eyes of the God who formed them in His image? Resignation blinds me to those sitting right next to me in church who are going through similar times of difficulty--similar circumstances; people who have been sent into my life that we might be mutual encouragers, that we might weep together and rejoice together, that we might be encouraged by His love for us demonstrated through their love for us. Have you failed to see those that God has already sent to you for His encouragement; yet, you just brushed them off, too busy resigning yourself to the truth that "my life is tough." He's sent them to you, and you have let them know that you have "no time for them right now"--you're too busy feeling resigned to your "fate," too busy feeling sorry for yourself. Faith disguised as resignation is really just self-centeredness. I refuse to embrace His plea to me--"please, for love's sake, consider others--those around you that I have sent into your life--better than yourself. Love them as I have loved you. Don't let your circumstances, those around you, those who criticize your actions keep you from fulfilling the love mission I have assigned to you. Take on the form of a servant, one whose circumstances are irrelevant to his "assignment" given him by his Lord and Master."
Should I continue to pray to God about my circumstances? Absolutely! He pleads with us to cast our cares on Him, to come to Him for rest as He shoulders our troubles with us. And the circumstances may change in marvelous ways. Things are never hopeless that are placed in surrender into the hands of the omnipotent God. (Yet, to be honest, they may get "worse" by human definition.) But one thing never changes: my call to serve and minister to others as He gave up Heaven to serve and minister to me. Talk about a change in circumstances! Yet, He lived His life loving all those who came into His presence. His circumstances were never all about Him. The brain-dead disciples, the poor and destitute rejected by society, the confused Pharisee who "snuck" into see Him in the middle of the night, the hurting, sinners, the one weeping in the garden, those seeking a Bread King, the doubters, those who had denied Him--all who met Him He loved. He was not resigned to His circumstances. He saw His circumstances as the door through which He could demonstrate the love of God. And what circumstances grew from that demonstration? Multitudes who have embraced the reality of God's love and forgiveness for all eternity.

"Use my circumstances, Lord, just as they are, to make me visible evidence of Your love to everyone you send my way."