I Want

I have been struggling to serve my Savior for a long time now. Yes, it's a struggle. I'd be worried if it wasn't. As a soldier on the enemy's territory--temporarily, the enemy's territory--I am constantly facing a variety of trials on a daily basis. Sometimes the "attacks" are subtle. Sometimes not so much. But they always seem to be rooted in one false notion: that I should pursue what I want instead of being thankful and content for what I have--what He in His love has so lovingly and graciously given me. Or, even, what He has so lovingly and graciously taken from me. Hasn't that been the temptation from Eden? The old English poet, John Milton, expressed astonishment that Adam and Eve who had everything were lured away from God's will by wanting to be more than what they were, wanting to have more than what they had--and they did indeed have everything--physically and spiritually. Wasn't our Savior tempted by the same things? "You want bread for your hunger? Turn these stones to bread. You want the applause and adoration of the multitude, jump off the temple and let the angels rescue You. You want the kingdoms of the world right now? Worship me--I will give You what you want right now." So it is with those that I love who have turned from Him. They have wanted to live their lives based on their own standards of morality, on their own need for the praise of men, on their own need for more material "blessings." And do I not struggle with the exact same wants? And, oh, it is a struggle. My "I wants" are the most dangerous temptations in my life. And I know that if I surrender to them, I will do anything to get them. Nothing is more dangerous than my "I wants." And what are the prayers I must pray daily in the midst of the struggle?
"I will serve the Lord my God, and Him only will I serve."
"Lord, You know my weaknesses; teach me to be content in whatever state I find myself knowing that it is there that You want me and need me to be faithful to You."
"I surrender all. Help me to be what You want me to be, Dear Lord. Help me to dance the celebration of joy each day at the wondrous things You have given me because You wanted me to cherish and enjoy them."
"Your presence and guidance, my Shepherd, are all I need--all I want. May Your goodness and mercy follow me all the days of my life. And give me the vision to see Your goodness and to bow humbly in thanks for Your mercy."

Oh, may I and those I love be careful of their "I wants."