Prayer for Wisdom

Often I don't pray for the promised wisdom to understand the purpose of my trials. Why? I don't want to know what He is trying to change in my character in order to make me more like Him. I'd rather just muddle along complaining to Him about my circumstances than surrender to His pruning. I like me the way I am, and I certainly don't want to pay the cost of transformation. Being "doubled minded" is what the Scripture calls that. Pretending to be spiritual and shouting how much I want to be more like Him when I really wish He would just leave me alone. The good thing is that He loves me too much to leave me alone. The misery is my doing--not His. Let us ask in faith without doubting that He will not only show us what needs to be changed, but by the Spirit bring about that change when I surrender to the honing of the trial.