An Examination

Periodic self-examination is essential for the Christian as he walks in the fear of the Lord. The one who loves the Lord is desirous of a good name. And I don't mean by that a good reputation. There is a difference; at least, there can be. A good reputation can be a forgery, counterfeit. A good name is a life of integrity, a life in which the Holy Spirit is being allowed to work out His nature in the choices and behavior of the believer. It is not a life that reflects human will power and man-made righteousness, but a life that reflects the dominance of the fruit of the Spirit on a daily, consistent basis.
So, how should I examine myself to be sure that I am living in the fear of the Lord? Well, first you must cast aside the wrong criteria. You must not expect to find a sinless life. Having not yet been glorified, you will find plenty of sin. If your examination leads you to believe that you have arrived spiritually--especially compared to everyone else--you need to retake the test. But first, take off the blindfold of spiritual pride. If self-examination doesn't humble you, the subsequent hard fall will.
In addition, you shouldn't judge where you are spiritually by the circumstances in which you find yourself. To use that as your criteria is to be in danger of finding yourself in the camp of Job's friends. And we all know what God thought of them! "They have not spoken what is right about Me." They would have gotten a zero on the self-examination--not that they would have been humble enough to take it.
Also, if the results of your self-examination lead you to think that you're spiritually bright, that there's nothing else God can teach you, then you must have written the test yourself. It surely wasn't the Holy Spirit's test. The spiritually wise man will only be impressed by how many blanks he left on the test.
Okay, then what should I look for when I start examining my walk with God? How will I know that the Holy Spirit is doing His work in me? Let me mention just a couple things for starters. First, if the Holy Spirit is doing His work in me, I will find joy in the midst of sorrow. When "sorrows like sea billows roll," then "peace like a river" will flood my soul. When I look at the darkest hours of my life, I will find the Light of the World shining there in my heart and in my walk. And I will be amazed and humbled that it was so.
Second, I will find patience and not anger as the controlling attitude in my dealings with others and with my circumstances. Who is more patient with men and their behavior than God? Who is more patient with my snail's pace spiritual growth than the Holy Spirit? And the evidence of true patience, God's patience, is a lack of fear concerning the future. He will finish the work He has begun in the lives of those I love, those I love only a fraction as much as He loves. He will--because He alone can--make the crooked straight. And He has promised that He will do that for those who patiently trust Him. And even more amazingly, He will finish the work in my life as well. It's incredible what He can do with a ball of clay, a clump of mud.
Finally, when I take the test and discover how little I really know, my response will not be "what's the use." Nor will my response be, "I give up." No, my response will be "teach me Lord, search me Lord, and reveal the wicked ways in me that by Your Spirit I might learn to love you more." The blank spaces on my exam will create in me a deepening desire to know Him more, to lay open to Him a teachable spirit that I might more fully walk in the light as He is in the light--more fully sense His presence in my daily life.
We need to examine ourselves to see how far we have to go to be like Him. We need to examine ourselves that we might humbly submit ourselves to the work the Holy Spirit is trying to do in us and through us. The right examination taken the right way will find us amazed at how far He's taken us to this point--especially considering what He had to work with. The right examination taken the right way will find us patiently trusting daily in His will and unafraid of any future because we know that all the crooked places will be made straight, all the sorrows will bring eternal joy, and when He's finally finished, "we will be like Him for we will see Him as He is." One day, by His amazing grace, we will pass the test--and never have to take it again.