Labeling

     There is a short story written by Gina Berriault called "The Stone Boy."  In the story a young boy makes a tragic mistake, and the people who claim to love him, in an even greater tragedy, misunderstand his feelings and label him a "stone boy," a boy who doesn't care.  He then becomes what they tell him he is.  He lives up--lives down--to their expectations.  He becomes something he is not nor had any desire to be simply because people have labeled him as such a person.
     The military has a ridiculous term for a great tragedy of war.  It's the term "friendly fire."  A soldier is a casualty of the fire of his own troops.  What a horrible tragedy to be wounded in the heat of battle against the enemy because you have been misidentified as being one of the enemy!  Friendly fire.  I think not.  Unimaginable tragedy!
     We have such casualties in the church.  We have men and women who have been labeled as rebels because they made a mistake.  Being human, they did something human and failed.  Being unable to see into their hearts, we have assumed the worst and let them have it with a salvo of friendly fire.  We have grievously wounded them, treated them as if they were the enemy, even, at times, suggested to them that they must be the enemy because of what they have done.  That is an unspeakable tragedy.  But then the worse tragedy occurs.  Since we have labeled them a rebel against God and refuse to believe that they are not, they decide that they may as well be what we have named them to be.  We crush the true desire of their heart--to please God--and replace it with a resignation to defeat.  They become "stone boys" because we have told them that that is what they are.  The salvo of "friendly fire" penetrates their heart and damages their capability to continue on in love of their God.  Their wounded heart becomes encased in the stone of self-preservation.
     God's people shoot and wound God's people all too often.  And many of the "rebels" on the fringe of the church or unwilling to even darken its doors again are simply casualties of war--victims of friendly fire.  Why should they return only to be shot at again by those who claim to be on God's side, acting on God's behalf?
     What do do?  Those of us who deal with others must be careful not to rush to judgment.  We must not think that we can judge the motives of a heart we cannot see.  We must not assume that mistakes are evidence of a rebellious heart.  We must not shoot God's children with false assumptions and thereby turn a soft heart toward God into a wounded one encased in indifference for fear that it might be wounded again.
     And what must the wounded do?  They must understand that they do not need man's approval to serve God.  They must understand that God sees their heart, and He knows that they love Him despite what men might say.  They must get back into the battle and bring their wounded heart so that they can recognize the other victims of friendly fire and encourage them to rest in God's love--not the foolishness of man's opinion.  They must be sure that those "stone boys" who really just have broken tender hearts embrace again the love of God.  And they must begin to do that by accepting for themselves the unconditional embrace of the God who loves them--the God who has always loved them.  The God who will always love them.