Vacuums

We all face difficult times, but we never face them in a vacuum. We often forget that and do irreparable damage in the process. How? In the crisis we think only of ourselves. Let me give you a personal example if you don't mind. In my divorce situation when I suddenly found myself a single parent, it was a struggle to keep reminding myself that I was not the only one feeling sorrow and pain. Obviously my boys were feeling the same things, just as deeply. In fact, in some ways they felt them even more deeply than I did simply because a child does not have the understanding that the adult has. In those times when I gave into my self-pity, my boys were left to deal with their broken hearts and their mom's apparent disinterest all on their own. What selfishness on my part! And such self-centeredness may occur in any such situation.
As another example, it can also occur in situations where I am being deliberately hurt by others--or just carelessly hurt--and I think that their behavior frees me from my responsibility to act like Christ toward them. I then do and say things in retaliation and self-defense that clearly violate the standard of obedience that God asks of me. I choose to live in rebellion and blame my behavior on the way they treat me. I deliberately hurt them because they have hurt me.
Such behavior is sin. Such behavior is idolatry. God has not called me to self-worship. God did not allow the crisis in my life so that others could feel sorry for me. God does not say that because I am hurting I no longer need to put the pain and sorrow of others above my own--to make them the number one priority in our relationship. God does not say that because others--even other Christians--are not acting like Christians toward me that I no longer need to act in a Christ-like manner toward them. Sorrow and pain does not relieve me of my responsibility. In fact, the crisis increases my responsibility.
Why? When is there a more desperate need for others to see Christ than in the crisis moment? When do children more desperately need to experience God's love then when they are doubting whether they are loved by those who they know should love them? When do others who are being disobedient to God's commands need to know, clearly and undeniably, that others love God enough to be obedient to Him no matter what? We need to get rid of the idolatry of self-pity and self-centeredness. We need to let people know that God's love is others centered and that no crisis in life can ever diminish the depth of that love--nor alter its focus. The disappointments and broken-heartedness that the crisis brings are not designed to allow you to love yourself more deeply but are designed to empower you to love Him by loving others in obedience to His call to Christ-like living. And yes, we are called not to love in words only, but in actions.