Hard Times

I know I am struggling with pride when I refuse the hard things God has called me to do. I refuse the will He has for my life and replace it with the will I think He should have for my life. And invariably my way is the "easy way out." It's anti endurance, anti perseverance, anti sacrifice. I want my life to be used in a way that I think will bring me fulfillment, and I chafe under the will He has for my life which is to be used to touch the lives of others (which, by the way, is the only way to find fulfillment). The hard things He calls me to do are the test of my love. Am I in love with me and what He can and should do for me or am I in love with Him? Can I climb the mountain with Abraham, with Isaac at my side, firewood strapped to his back, or will I doubt the promises of Jehovah-Jireh--The Lord Will Provide?